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15 Signs Of Emotional Maturity | Why Is It So Important

What Is Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity is the ability to take full responsibility for own emotions. Emotionally mature people define the quality of emotion they want, hence their mood is not easily influenced by external factors. Besides that, they are highly aware of their emotional level and are able to control it well when challenges arise. 


Definition Of Emotional Maturity In Psychology

Emotional maturity is a personality trait, the result of emotional development and the display of emotion appropriate to one’s chronological age. It usually reflects increased emotional adjustment and emotional stability and the attainment of emotional self-regulation.


Why Is Emotional maturity Important

Emotional maturity is crucial in two aspects: personal growth and relationship.

Emotional maturity is very important for personal growth. People who are emotionally matured are able to discuss things objectively, without being influenced too much by personal feelings. Not only this helps them to shape the right mindset to admit own mistakes when it happens, but it also helps them to accept feedback or criticism. This way, they can constantly learn from their mistakes and become a better person.

Emotional maturity also plays a crucial role when it comes to a relationship. Everyone has different perspectives, therefore conflicts can happen. If a person is not emotionally matured enough, he will tend to perceive suggestions or feedback by others as an attack and react with a hostile attitude (attack the other person personally instead of discussing a solution for the conflict). The stubbornness to change or to consider anyone else’s reasons or arguments makes them very hard to get along with. This can ruin their interpersonal relationships in the long term.

Overall, people who are emotionally mature are less likely to be affected by those who aren’t. They can identify those people who are not emotionally mature, be aware of what is going on with them, and then they can consciously choose either to help them to get out of the loop or to avoid them.


25 Signs Of Emotional Maturity

The most important element of emotional maturity is taking responsibility for own emotions and actions. This does not mean a person has to keep blaming himself over things he can’t control but to look at things objectively and strive to solve challenges when it arises while keeping own emotion well controlled. It is important to understand that we only take responsibility for those things we have control (our thoughts, emotions) and not for what we can’t (external event, other people’s opinion).


1) Admit Mistakes When You Are Wrong
Emotionally mature people do not blame others for their own mistakes. They take accountability for their own actions and treat mistakes solely as feedback or lesson. In addition to that, they do not take other people’s opinions or feedback personally and perceive it as an attack or insult. Hence, they do not respond by attacking back. Often, they will just admit it, apologize, and strive to improve themselves. 

Emotional maturity example:
A person is late for an appointment. He knew that the traffic is going to be bad in the evening but he didn’t depart earlier. When the other person is not happy about it, he does not attack back by pointing out that the other person was late before too, so it is alright for him to be late this time. Instead, he just admits his mistakes and chooses to depart earlier for evening appointments next time. 


2) Admit When You Are Biased
We all have preferences in life and sometimes we are biased without knowing it. When emotionally mature people recognized that they are biased towards certain opinions and it is not fair to the other person, they will choose to acknowledge it and try to find common ground instead of insisting that they are not biased and they are right.


3) Respect Own Feelings And Needs
Emotionally matured people understand their emotional needs. It is important to take care of others’ feeling but it does not mean they should totally forgo their own feelings. The key is to stay balanced and to attend to own emotional needs when it is necessary. If a person does not respect his own feelings, it is easy for him to be influenced by others and become miserable.

Example of emotional maturity:
The mother wanted the son to get a new car for her and insisted that she needs a brand new and high-end car. She sold the old car and then told his son that she has no transport to work. She is trying to force her son to purchase the car for her by using a guilt attack, where if the son does not comply, then he is deemed to be not filial to his mother. In this case, the mother is exhibiting a passive-aggressive behavior and is subtly manipulating the son to get what she wants. If the son is not an emotionally matured person, he will feel obliged to purchase the new high-end car even though he already feels burden handling all the family expenses now. 


4) Don’t Play Victim
Emotionally matured people take full responsibility for their own lives. Whenever they get setbacks in life, they view it as their own responsibility to improve themselves rather than giving away the power to adapt and change to the external event which will then render them powerless. This makes them emotionally strong. Whatever happens in life happens for a positive reason and the reason is to make them stronger.


5) Define And Set Boundaries
An emotionally matured person understand their standpoint. They know what they want in life and they also made a conscious decision on the things that they do not want. When things beyond their boundaries happen, such as lies, insult, discrimination, passive-aggressive behavior, they can detect it right away, deal with it accordingly and won’t let it destroy their self-esteem. This gives them tremendous power over emotional control. Nothing can hurt them without their consent. 


6) Rational Response
When unexpected things happen, be it positive or negative, an emotionally matured person will not let it get over his head. Instead of reacting impulsively, an emotionally matured person tends to pause, think over the situation and then give a meaningful response. They are less likely to be carried away by emotion and more likely to act based on rational thoughts. This makes them very more reliable and independent over work performance and emotionally. 


7) Greater Endurance
There are going to be a lot of challenges in life and there will be hard decisions needed to be made. People who are emotionally mature are always mentally prepared to face difficulties and are less likely to give up. They envision possible setbacks and get prepared for it. So, when times come and setback really happens, they have already got a plan b on hand. This gives them a boost of self-confidence to keep moving forward. A mature person has a higher tolerance level of discomfort. They can extend beyond comfort zone long enough to find a solution and grow. On the opposite side, people who are not emotionally mature tend to only complain and blame when setbacks happen. 


8) Realistic Optimism
An emotionally mature person understands there are two sides to every coin. For example, a higher return investment always comes with a higher risk. Hence, they can accept it as part of the risk when things do not quite work out properly. Instead of falling into the trap of self-pity, they quickly adapt, take up new strategy and hope for the next best thing to happen. When things become uncertain, they tend to look at the positive or potential side. This helps to cut off a lot of unnecessary anxiety and stress.


9) Integrity
Emotionally mature people are bound by their own principle. They are honest with themselves even if there’s no one around to monitor them. They tend not to take advantage of other people or the situation if it is against their principle and has very good self-discipline. If they made a mistake, they are willing and committed to telling the truth even if it means that they need to face the negative consequences or punishment. 

Example of emotional maturity:
Josh accidentally bumps into his neighbor’s car. There was no one there, so if he were to just walk away, no one is going to know and he does not need to compensate anything. However, he still chose to admit and apologize to his neighbor for the damage done. He is able to deal with a stressful situation because he is emotionally mature.


10) Delayed Gratification
Emotionally mature people are inherently good at prioritizing. The know what serves them better in the long run and are able to fight the bad temptation in mind. They know they have to pay responsibility to their own behavior and action, thus they consciously choose to resist things that can be detrimental to their long term wellbeing. 


11) Good Listener
Emotionally mature people emphasis a lot on listening. They carefully listen and understand what the other person has to say before expressing their own opinion. Even in an argument, they give a chance to the other person to talk. They view argument as an opportunity to exchange thoughts and always try to find common ground if possible. They are able to look at conflicting views objectively and do not quickly disregard the other’s opinion. If they find themselves at fault, they are mature enough to admit it and agree with the other person’s opinion.  


12) Don’t Get Triggered Easily
Emotionally mature people do not take things personally. When they communicate with others, they also tend to not make it personal. In other words, they discuss matters, not people. They do not put their ego above the discussion, so it makes it easy for people to have a discussion with them and have a productive solution. People with low emotional maturity are very easy to be identified. They exert a hostile attitude towards criticism and they like to attack people who have a conflicted view in person rather than discussing the matter objectively.


13) Sense of Humour
People who are emotionally mature are not afraid to laugh at themselves when they made silly mistakes. Even if other people are making fun or teasing them, they won’t take it seriously unless it is beyond their boundaries. Their happiness or emotion does not depend on what others have to say about them. So, being around with people who are emotionally mature, you will feel more carefree and fun because you do not need to worry about accidentally offending them all the time. We all have a friend like that whom we enjoy to spend time with. 


14) Flexibility
An emotionally mature person is not afraid to admit that they are wrong or there is a better way to do things. If someone gave them constructive criticism for improvement, chances are they will grab it. They will not stubbornly cling to the old idea because of afraid people will laugh at them for making a mistake previously. Without a limiting mindset, emotionally mature people tend to grow faster than those who are not.


15) Inner Peace
Emotionally mature people know what they want to pursue in life and they understand it is totally alright to be different. Hence, they listen to others’ opinions but consciously choose which advice to accept and which one to reject. External events can’t affect them much and they tend to look at the positive side all the time. This is why their emotions and mood do not fluctuate too much and they are overall content and happy. If they do not like something, they will take action to remove themselves from the negative environment or do something to improve the situation rather than just complaining. 


A Word From Inspiration Boost
Emotional intelligence allows us to read and to understand emotions while emotional maturity allows us to come up with rational and meaningful responses. Both are crucial for us to lead a healthy life. Emotional maturity cannot be attained overnight but we can certainly improve it every day by doing self-review. Keeping a journal online or offline is a good idea to start improving our emotional maturity.



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